Monday, April 25, 2011
Expectations
11:18 PM
We all have expectations in life:
How we will turn out as a grown up...
Who are friends will be...
What our job will be...
Where we will live...
How many kids we will have...
What school we will go to (or not, as the case may be)...
etc. etc. etc.
I think it is funny to notice (as a girl especially - as Best Friend would pointedly add) how much my expectations change depending on the situation.
FOR EXAMPLE:
Growing up - I loved Loved LOVED bossing my siblings around. I made not only my own choices, but THEIR choices. It was the best. I was in power. I was in control. I made the choices. I was the Boss. Woot!
Now - I love being the Boss... sometimes. :) The rest of the time I am perfectly content to let someone else make my choices for me. I want someone to say "Alright, be here at this time and there at that time" - with SOME liberties of course (i.e. I reserve the right to change my mind or choose my classes, etc.). But when it comes time to make one of those Really Big Decisions... ... ... I want to run and hide. So I do. I analyze the situation from every possible angle and quadrangle. I make sure that no stone is left unturned and no possibility uncovered. I know exactly what my options are from start to finish before I make a choice.
Unfortunately, and as I'm sure many of you well know, life is not always so clear-cut.
Lame.
Care for another example? Oh good.
I had a choice. Both were excellent choices. Both were very difficult choices and would provide challenges over the coming months. Both demanded my interest and attention.
However, I falsely expected that God would step in and solve my problem. He does that all the time. He helps me to make the right choice and guide on my way of life. It is happy and I move on and all is well. Go figure, He didn't step in this time. At least not immediately.
The problem is that I have such high expectations for myself. I expect myself to do well at what I do, which probably comes from always getting what I wanted (though I did work my tushie off to make sure I was worthy of what I wanted). I expect myself to attain this high standard of achievement and self-mastery and all around awesomeness, but when I fall short, I condemn myself and belittle myself and beat myself up about it. (Hopefully this doesn't sound too familiar, though I understand it's a common trait.)
I ALSO have high expectations for those around me. I expect my family to always love and support me. :) Ha. They seem to have gotten off fairly easy - but it's all a facade. They have it pretty tough. I expect Best Friend to hold me - which he seems to enjoy anyway, so we're both winning. I expect God to step in and help me solve my problems. Hmm.... That one sounds a little iffy, don'cha think?
Long story short (yeah, right), this is what I have learned:
I have high expectations for myself. This is good. HOWEVER! I cannot let my occasional "failure" to fulfill my outrageously high expectations to ruin my attitude and my feelings about life in general. It's not fair to myself or to those around me who have to put up with me. So what am I going to do about it? Well... For starters, I'm going to try to improve. I'm going to try to recognize when my expectations are unrealistic and see what I can do to improve myself without feeling like a failure. I'm also going to try to remember to take charge of my life - that it is ok to make mistakes, as long as I turn to God and keep Him close through everything.
ALSO! I'm going to love my Best Friend more and more every day cuz he loves me back. And that makes any day the best. (is that cute? or too much? I wasn't sure, but really really wanted to say it cuz it made me happy. :) I think it's cute. So there)
Signing out.
Me.
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About Me
- Nashelle
- I am a wife, sister, daughter, friend. Dancer, actor, singer, pianist. Reader, sleeper, cross-stitcher, photographer. I am Nashelle and on this blog you will see me doing what I love to do best - being me!
1 comments:
Hey cute Nashelle! I promise you that there are few things that will help your marriage more than having realistic expectations (of yourself and of your spouse) and REALIZING that your expectations are just that - expectations - and not the way things absolutely have to be. Sounds like you're on the right track. :) We're excited to meet you in a month!
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